


Tell Me That You're Alright

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, M/M, Pre-Kerberos Mission, btw the prompt is misleading, but then goes to the present, there is fluff, they are v much in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-15 11:16:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8054179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: written for shatt week on tumblr day 7: one sided pining





	Tell Me That You're Alright

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all have enjoyed this week! And I end it with one final song lyric title. Somebody stop me.

“He’s doing it again, Katie.” Matt bemoans to his sister. “There’s no way any man should be that hot _and_ that nice.” Matt watches his sister roll her eyes before the video chat goes staticky for a moment. Matt hears some readjusting and grumbling before the image becomes clear again, Katie still looking equally as done.

“Do tell Matt,” Katie’s voice is smug, something that would annoy Matt were he not in crisis. “What inexcusable horrible thing has Shiro done this time?” Matt opens his mouth to speak, but Katie continues. “If this is going to be a long story, tell me, so I can get popcorn.”

“Well…” Matt shoots Katie a look as she pulls a bowl from somewhere out of the frame, clearly pre-prepared for this conversation.

“Keep going I’m listening.” Katie says, chewing with her mouth open. Matt resolves to tackle his sister the second he gets home before refocusing and coming back to the matter at hand.

“Okay so I was up late working in the lab last night, and Shiro some how knew, of course and—”

“Oh mercy,” Katie says, her voice mimicking that of a swooning victorian woman. “Your friend and colleague knows details of your working life. Scandalous!” Katie falls back on her bed dramatically and now it’s Matt’s turn to roll his eyes.

“Anyway,” Matt continues sharply. “He came by my room before I was scheduled to work with some cadets and he brought me coffee! Coffee, Katie!” Matt watches his sister chew thoughtfully.

“Did he remember—”

“Yes!” Matt notices the fever pitch in his voice and makes an embarrassed attempt to calm himself. “Exactly two and a half packets of sugar, three tablespoons of milk, and one vanilla coffee creamer. My taste buds are never wrong.” Katie snorts, nearly choking on her popcorn.

“Brother dear you have got it _so_ bad. But continue.” Katie is all too amused, Matt realizes, and he tries to impress upon his sister the gravity of the situation.

“And if you thought the coffee was bad that was only the half of it!” Matt notices his voice rising again but does absolutely nothing about it. “He had just been _working out,_ Katie! Working out! Like in a see through muscle tank and leggings working out!”

“Oh my god.” Katie tries and fails to conceal her laughter yet again.

“There was still sweat dripping down his neck, Katie!” Matt is all but shouting into the webcam at this point. “His beautiful, beautiful neck and his sculpted collar bones and just…” Matt’s voice cuts off and he leaves the frame. Katie is confused for a second until Matt returns with a pillow, which he proceeds to scream into. “And then he asked me if I wanted to grab dinner later!” Matt says when he finally emerges.

“So hit that, then.” Katie stifles a snicker as Matt’s face turns red like a cherry tomato.

“Katie I’m screwed.” Matt moans. “We’re leaving for Kerberos in a little less than two weeks! What am I gonna do?” Matt shoves his face in his pillow again.

“You could tell him how you feel.” Katie’s face is dead serious when Matt looks up.

“Why?” Matt asks. “So I can get rejected and then awkwardly have to spend months living in close quarters with him and _dad_ , may I remind you, in space? Nope.”

“That is true,” Katie says calmly, surveying her brother’s growing distress. “But if you don’t tell him how you feel, nothing is ever gonna happen, right?” Matt’s eyes widen. “Look I’m not gonna pressure you into anything.” Katie raises her hands in a placating gesture. “But I’d just like to point out, based on the many, many, many, many—”

“Okay Katie I get it!”

“Many stories you’ve told me,” Katie pauses for dramatic affect. “Shiro definitely feels something for you. I mean, he remembered your stupid coffee rules for one.”

“They’re not stupid.” Matt says defensively. “What other evidence do you have to present to the court, Ms. Holt?” Katie raises an eyebrow and Matt instantly knows he’s created a monster.

“Okay what about the time he let you sleep in his bed when you got locked out and you guys woke up spooning?”

“Okay that was one time and—”

“Or the time he stayed late for _hours_ to help you out of that malfunctioning simulator?” Katie’s eyebrow continues to rise, and Matt begins to question whether or not it will go past her forehead entirely.

“That was kind of his fault I was in there in the first place,” Matt splutters. “And—”

“ _Or_ what about the time you dropped a flask on your foot like an idiot and he carried you _bridal style_ to the infirmary?”

“Okay,” Matt’s shoulders slump, gradually accepting defeat. “You got me there, but—”

“ _Or_ ,” Katie finishes. “What about the time you were out sick and he told you he couldn’t do the Kerberos simulation without you? Because it didn’t ‘feel right’ without you?And he ‘needs you’?” Matt’s mouth simply hangs open. “I rest my case.” Matt looks down sadly.

“But…” His voice trails off.

“Look,” Katie says, her voice now tender. “You know I’m not good with this emotional crap any more than you are. It’s what makes us Holts, Holts.” Matt laughs a little at that. “But think about it. If you don’t confess to him now, then what? Months of pining agony on the way to Kerberos with Dad hovering over your shoulder? And then what? Months of pining agony on the way back?” Matt doesn’t say anything, not wanting to concede Katie’s point. “And then when you get back you just continue working at the Garrison, still moping after Shiro?” Katie sighs. “You’ll have to deal with awkwardness at some point. You might as well get it over with now.” Matt rubs his temples.

“Katie it’s not that simple.” Matt mumbles.

“Don’t care,” Katie replies nonchalantly. “Listen. I want you to make a pact with me.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes.” Katie is smirking now. “And the pact is that you will confess to Shiro before you leave for Kerberos.” Matt starts shaking his head. “And you will call me when you do so I can hear all the details. It’s the least you owe me after calling me every other day with your crush stories.”

“Katie I don’t know if I can—” Matt’s words are interrupted by the sound of firm knocking at his door. “That’s probably Shiro! I gotta go.” Katie squints at her brother as he rushes to grab his jacket and fix his hair.

“Alright, Matt. But remember what I said!”

“Katie I’m leaving!” Matt calls over his shoulder, not even bothering to close his laptop. “I’ll probably call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Don’t worry,” Katie says as Matt hastily exits his room. “I know you will.” She hears a faint yet clearly flustered ‘Hi, Shiro!’ followed by the sound of a door closing and sighs. She clicks on the red “end call” button, causing the image of Matt’s room to disappear. As ridiculous as her brother is being, she can’t deny the fact that she misses him. A lot. And even as the uneasy quiet of the house resettles around her, she hopes with all her might that her crazy brother actually thinks for once, and does something good for himself.

 

…

 

            Katie already knows something’s up when the notification “new call from mattie boi” pops up on her screen. She hasn’t heard anything from Matt for a few days now and in their last call he hardly even mentioned Shiro. Fearing the worst, she accepts the call, and an image of a tired looking Matt appears on her screen.

            “Hey, Katie.” Matt’s voice is soft and his eyes don’t have their usual sparkle. “So as you might know, we leave for Kerberos tomorrow.” He looks at his watch. “Or in a few hours, I guess. And…” Katie already knows how the sentence is going to end before he finishes it.

            “And you still haven’t said anything to Shiro.” Katie feels a rush of sympathy as Matt buries his face in his hands.

            “I was so close.” Matt’s voice is a hollow whisper. “We were walking back from a last meeting with your dad about the mission and then Shiro put his arm around my shoulder.” Matt’s words make it seem like he’s about to tell any old Shiro story, but something about his tone tells Katie otherwise. “And then when we got back to my room he said he wanted to tell me something.” Katie’s eyes widen hopefully. “He told that he’d been under a lot of stress leading up to the mission.” Matt coughs. “Something to do with his brother having school trouble. And that he wanted to thank me for helping him a lot by just making him smile or laugh everyday.” Katie audibly gasps.

            “Then you guys kissed right? This is what you’re going to tell me what happened next, right?” Katie holds out hope only for a millisecond.

            “And then you know what I said?” A pained expression has taken up residence on Matt’s face. “What are friends for?”

            “Oh.”

            “I panicked!” A frown settles on Matt’s lips. “And then Shiro just patted me on the shoulder and then left. How am I supposed to come back from that?”

            “I mean you could still tell him how you feel.”

            “When, Katie?” Matt snaps. “When dad’s asleep on the tiny spaceship I’ll be sharing with the both of them for the next several months?” Matt sees the hurt expression on his sister’s face and realizes his words came out harsher than he meant them to. “Sorry.” He mumbles. “I’m just frustrated with myself.”

            “If it makes you feel any better I’m frustrated with you too.” Katie laughs at the grin that creeps back up Matt’s face.

            “Oh thanks, _Pidge._ ” Matt watches his sister’s face scrunch up.

            “You haven’t called me Pidge since I was like five, loser.” Katie forms an ‘L’ with her fingers for emphasis.

            “Well I mean if you think about it this is probably gonna be the longest we’ve been separated since you were five.” Matt pauses for a moment. “Since forever actually.” He doesn’t know who starts crying first, him or Katie.

            “Dammit, Matt,” Katie says through gritted teeth. “I’m gonna miss you too much.” She puts her head down on her keyboard.

            “I’m gonna miss you too.” Matt chews his lip. “Hey.” Katie looks up. “It’s not like I won’t be able to talk to you at all when I’m on the ship. I mean communications won’t be great, but it won’t be nothing. So don’t worry, okay?” Katie’s eyes are glassy with tears. “Katie?” A breath. “Pidge?” Finally Katie nods.

            “Alright.” Katie smiles sadly at her brother, trying her best to not already start forgetting the features of his face. “I should probably let you go.” She finally forces herself to say. “Early start tomorrow for you.”

            “I guess so, yeah.” Matt rubs the back of his neck. “Bye Katie.”

            “Bye.” Katie is about to click ‘end call’, then stops herself. “Oh and, Matt?”

            “Yeah?”

            “When you finally do confess,” Katie says, “Shiro’s going to be a very lucky guy.” Matt cracks a smile at that and Katie knows she’s done her job.

            “Bye, Pidge. Love you.”

            “Love you too.” Katie ends the call, closing her laptop before she starts to cry in earnest.

…

 

            “Pidge?” Matt’s face is a mixture of shock and wonder as he looks up at his sister, currently dressed in suit of futuristic green and white armor.

            “Matt, I know you’re still woozy from the drugs the Galra gave you, but I’m gonna need you to focus for a few minutes so Hunk and I can get you out of here, okay?” Pidge flashes a quick smile when Matt nods. As she shouts directions down the communications line Matt tries to reconcile his last image of his sister as an emotional and vulnerable child with the capable warrior in front of him. How long had it been? Months? Years? Matt didn’t really feel like he understood time properly anymore, but Katie had definitely gotten older. More grounded, some how. “Keith, Lance, how’s the situation looking out there?”

            “Well we’re still covering you and Hunk’s butts if that’s what you’re wondering?” Lance tone is as irritating as ever Pidge decides.

            “Allura, how soon would you be able to safely make a wormhole jump?” Pidge can’t help but roll her eyes when she hears not Allura’s voice in response, but Shiro’s.

            “Pidge, is everything going okay? Did you find Matt yet?” Shiro had been left on the castle as a precautionary measure. They still hadn’t been able to figure out how Zarkon was able to take control of the black lion and had decided it would be best to leave it out of range of fire unless absolutely necessary. The result, unfortunately, was an incredibly agitated Shiro whenever the paladins did anything remotely reckless. Such as rescuing two prisoners from a high security Galra transport ship, of course.

            “Shiro, everything is fine.” Pidge says testily. “Just get Allura to be ready to make a wormhole jump soon. Hunk is almost back to his lion with my father and I have Matt.” She doesn’t even bother to listen to what Shiro has to say in response, and grabs her brother’s arm, leading him down the ship hallway.

            “Were you just talking to Shiro?” Matt asks as he follows his sister blindly.

            “Oh my god don’t you dare start this again right now.” Pidge says as she pulls them behind a column for a moment to avoid a patrol of sentries. “At least get in the lion before you start your moping again.” Pidge’s voice has an edge to it, but she’s truly happy to have her brother back. Matt knows it. They’ve never had to talk much, even growing up, because they each just ‘knew’. So even though his sister’s voice is rough, her hands are warm and kind and a long forgotten smile springs to Matt’s lips.

            “I’ll try my best, Pidge.” Matt says teasingly as Pidge leads him to some kind of hanger bay. “But you know me, ever the love struck fool.” Pidge mimes vomiting before directing him towards the green lion, hidden in a corner of the bay.

            “Just get in.” Pidge shakes her head. “I can’t have Lance and Keith covering us forever.” She steers her brother up the metal ramp leading into the lion’s mouth and makes sure everything is secure before scrambling to the pilot’s seat. “Green kitty is a go!” Pidge announces loudly, causing the rest of the paladins wince at the volume. “Allura, prepare to make the wormhole jump!”

            “Got it!” Allura’s voice is clear as a bell. “Keith, Lance! Hunk is already in the castle and since Pidge is out I suggest you return to your hangers.” The paladins hate to be pulled from the thick of battle, but they understand Allura’s reasoning. The last time they weren’t all securely aboard the castle wasn’t something they wanted to repeat.

            “Get ready.” Pidge says to her brother as she steers her lion to its hanger. “The first time you experience a wormhole jump is bound to be rough.” Pidge’s lion lands gracefully on the metal floor of the bay and she breathes a sigh of relief as the hanger doors shut and lock above her. “Allura, I’m in.”

            “How bad can it possibly be?” Matt asks as Pidge moves to disembark from the green lion. But a moment later it seems like the entire universe is spinning and rushing and hurtling and Matt wonders why on earth he felt like he had to tempt fate.

 

…

            “Okay Allura,” Shiro starts, his voice clearly impatient. “Tell me why again Matt is still in the healing pod? Commander Holt got out yesterday and Matt doesn’t even have any visible injuries!” Allura clenches her first, attempting to hold on to her father’s advice that a princess stay calm and collected at all times.

            “Matt’s father told us that during transport a guard was treating him roughly and so Matt tried to attack them.”

            “Why would he do that?” Shiro asks incredulously. “See this is why I didn’t want to stay on the ship, I end up missing everything involving—”

            “Perhaps he was inspired by you.” Allura replies coolly. “Anyway, one of the Galra tried to subdue him with a syringe of ‘something’ and the pod is clearing whatever that toxin might be from his system.” Shiro sighs, realizing Allura’s explanation is perfectly reasonable.

            “How much longer?” He asks, his words ringing with defeat.

“At least a couple thousand more ticks.” Allura truly feels bad at the hurt she sees spread across Shiro’s face.

“Couple thousand?” Shiro sighs again. “I think I’m gonna hit the training deck.” He makes his way out of the room, not even looking back. “I can’t just sit here.” As he walks down the hallway, however, his mind is on anything but training. He’s thinking of the tapestry of the past, with all of its scenes of simplicity, before the Galra, before Voltron, before any of this. More specifically, he’s thinking of the night before the Kerberos mission and wishing more than anything that he’d had the guts to kiss Matt Holt then before the universe tore them apart.

Shiro is so lost in his thoughts he doesn’t realize he’s not watching where he’s going until he runs straight into a (now disgruntled) Pidge.

“Shiro!” Pidge’s laptop tumbles from her hands but Shiro manages to catch it in time before it crashes against the castle floor. He offers it to Pidge with a weak smile, but Pidge is not amused. “Dude watch where you’re going!” Pidge pauses for a moment. “Where are you going, Shiro? The healing pod room is that way.” Pidge makes an emphatic pointing gesture that Shiro chooses to ignore.

“I could ask the same of you, Pidge.” Shiro’s voice lacks it’s usual smooth confidence and Pidge raises an eyebrow.

“I’m going up to the lab. My dad wanted me to show him some of the things I’ve been working on now that he’s up and I was just grabbing some stuff.” Pidge squints. “But you still didn’t answer my question. Didn’t you wanna be there when Matt wakes up? You still haven’t seen him since…” Neither of them wants to mention Kerberos at the moment, so the air is silent.

“Pidge…” Shiro’s voice trails off. “It’s not that simple.” Pidge feels an irritating sense of déjá vu as Shiro continues speaking. “I…I made a mistake before our mission.”

“You weren’t the only one.” Pidge mutters.

“The thing is…” Shiro collects his thoughts for a moment. “Pidge, I have… feelings for your brother.” Shiro expected a lot of reactions after that sentence, but Pidge jumping up and down and shouting ‘I knew it!’ was not one of them.

“So let me guess,” Pidge starts smugly. “you didn’t tell him how you felt before Kerberos and you’re trying to figure out how to do it now that you’re reunited? That’s what you’re gonna say, right?”

“Pidge, I don’t know if I should tell him.”

“What?” Pidge’s voice is a mixture of indignation and fury. “Shiro!”

“Have you seen him Pidge?” Shiro asks weakly. “He’s been through so much. I mean…” Shiro pauses. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way? I don’t want to put him in an awkward position.” Shiro clenches his fist. “I want to protect the good relationships in my life that I do have. Not ruin them because I can’t keep my feelings in check.” Pidge could really almost feel sympathy for Shiro, hunched over, clearly in deep emotional pain, had she not already had this exact conversation with her brother.

“Alright that’s it.” Pidge says firmly, tucking her laptop under her arm. “I’m done.”

“What?” Shiro asks, confused as the younger paladin starts to walk away.

“I’ve had it.” Pidge says, turning around to face Shiro again. “I’m tired of being the emotional go between for you and Matt. Either one of you has to finally confess to the other or get over each other because if I have to hear one more dramatic speech about pointless pining I’ll just give myself up to Zarkon to end my suffering.” As Pidge huffs off, Shiro is still more than a little confused, but a new seed of thought has been planted. How bad would it be, really, to tell Matt the truth?

 

…

 

Shiro does not speak the truth to Matt for three days after Matt is finally free from the healing pod. He hugs Matt instead of kissing the brunette. Shiro says ‘It’s so good to see you’ instead of ‘please never leave me again’. He says ‘I missed you’ not ‘a part of my heart turned to ash when I thought you might not be alive’. He asks ‘did you sleep well?’ instead of ‘I still dream that one day I’ll wake up next to you and it won’t be in a nightmare about the Galra prison’. He says ‘good morning’ instead of ‘you look beautiful, and I’ve always thought you’ve looked beautiful’ and he fights with every ounce of strength he has to not start blushing whenever Matt comes just a little ‘too’ in his personal space. But after three days the lying in his head and the pounding of his heart is just too much for Shiro to take anymore. He’s sprawled across his bed, wide awake in the darkness as he tries to stop his mind from wandering down roads of fantasies that are just a little too close to reality for comfort. He can’t keep Matt out of his head and he realizes just lying there isn’t going to do anything. Shiro swings his legs off his bed and begins to pad barefoot to the control room. _Hopefully Coran or Allura will still be awake_ , Shiro thinks, _then I’ll have to talk and think about someone else._

As it turns out neither Coran nor Allura is in the control room and Shiro lets out a breath of frustration because he’s still alone. Or so he thinks, until he notices a figure wrapped in a blanket, seemingly gazing out at the stars.

“Lance,”Shiro says tiredly. “Got to bed.” Shiro knows the blue paladin loves to stargaze late at night, and assumes it’s another one of Lance’s late night excursions. But the person who turns around to face Shiro isn’t Lance. “Matt?”

“Hey, Shiro.” Matt says softly. “Wanna sit?” Matt pats the floor space next to him and despite the maelstrom in his mind Shiro can’t refuse. He makes his way across the room and takes a seat next to Matt, already all too aware of their closeness.

“You can’t sleep either?” Shiro asks.

“Something like that.” Matt lets out a long breath. “Do you ever regret not doing something?” The question is loaded and Shiro feels like the very air around them is sparking as he makes eye contact with Matt.

“For sure.” Shiro breathes, barely daring to speak. “But those are usually things that I’m scared to do.” Matt’s lips part slightly and Shiro curses himself for noticing so quickly.

“You know,” Matt says. “A long time ago, on earth, someone told me that sometimes if you don’t do something life is just going to keep going. And going and going and going until bam!” Shiro jumps slightly as Matt claps his hands together for emphasis. “ Sometimes you have to be scared of doing things. But it’s better than regretting not doing them.” In that moment Shiro is so tempted to place his hand on Matt’s cheek. But also so scared, so terrified of what might come after.

“I guess that’s true.” Shiro says thickly, now having difficulty swallowing. He looks down, unable to maintain eye contact with Matt anymore.

“Then I’m not gonna have regrets.” Matt states. Shiro looks up, surprised at the new determination in Matt’s voice. “Shiro, can I kiss you?” Shiro can’t help the massive grin that spreads across his face.

“Now I hope we can agree that’s something we both should have done a long time ago?”

“Just shut up and kiss me.” Matt’s still surprised when Shiro’s lips finally meet his. They’re unimaginably far away from earth, and their entire lives have been turned upside down but Shiro’s lips are soft and warm and maybe, just maybe they’re going to start living without regrets.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @polaroidpidge


End file.
